Learning and reflections How are you feeling about your experiences as you've been going through the Freedom from Anxiety & Fear Program? What's been working really well for you and making a difference? Anything that's not working as well or needs to change? Many people have found this program a profound transformative experience. How are you finding it? * Learning to Hug Yourself
As we've seen, improving our relationship with our self is the basis of overcoming all anxiety and fear. Let's be proactive and see if we can identify what we resist, don't like, and don't want in relation to our self - that means our body and mind. Brainstorm and just be as creative as you can.
Ask, ‘What don't I like about my body?’ Think of all the different parts of the body. Think of how your body looks in different ways. Consider each of the body parts as well as the whole body. Is there anything you really don't like or don't want about your body? * Once you've completed the list, go back and evaluate the strength of your resistance. On a scale of 0 to -10 where -10 you hated it so strongly, -5 it is quite a reasonable sense of ‘I don't like that’ or ‘I don't want that’, and 1 and 2 means it's very mild. * Once you've completed the reflection on your body, reflect on what you don't like or don't want about your mind. The states of mind, the thoughts, the feelings that you have, whether it's slow, too jumpy or unfocused. Reflect on whatever it is you don't like about your mind. See if you can identify any of the thoughts and feelings that you really don't like when they pass through the mind. * Once you've completed the brainstorm, go back and evaluate (using the scale 0 to -10) the level or intensity of charge that each of these ‘don't like’ and ‘don't want’ have. * Hugging your Individual Life Reflect on anything that's happening or has happened in your life that you didn't want, didn't like or wish never happened. Ignore the things you didn't want at the time, but now you're okay with. Brainstorm. * Consider what you don't like or don't want related to family - including your ancestors, grandparents, parents, other family, anything related to children, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles. Anything at all that you don't like or don't want related to your family. Brainstorm and create a list. * Go through areas of your individual life e.g. friends. Brainstorm again anything you don't like or don't want about your friends, including disappointments from the past. Focus also on colleagues and work - anything you don't like about work, any colleagues at work or anything from the past. * Consider anything you don't like or don't want relating to your finances: having too little money or too much, or anything else. * Focus on anything you don't like or don't want about your home or home life. * Consider any other relationships in your life you don't like or don't want or want to be different. * Consider anything else in your life you don't want or don't like. * Learning to Hug Life Brainstorm anything you don't like about life. For example, life's unfair, there's too much suffering, disease, war, violence, injustice, etc. * Brainstorm any animals or plants you don't like and wished didn't exist. * When you've completed the list, again evaluate each on a scale 0 to -10 where -10 is the absolute most dislike or hate. * Mature, wise living
What we've been doing is scanning all the areas of our life to identify areas that need healing. It's important to understand that being fully at home in life doesn't mean you like everything in life. You'll still have your preferences. However, you understand and accept life as it happens. Right now, you don't have to like your anxiety or fear, you just need to accept your current situation and work from there.
The wisest and most mature humans through time understand life from this awareness and do everything they can to bring love, understanding, and peace to any of the difficult situations. They understand for example, that someone being violent is a result of pain that they have been unable to digest due to a very strong, not good enough pattern underlying it. They don't judge the person. They naturally want to prevent them causing harm to themselves or anyone else. Love is able to embrace everything.
Take action to open up to life!
You have now identified what you don't like or don't want related to the three categories: 1) yourself, 2) your individual life, 3) Life.
Now choose one thing you don't want or like from each of the three categories and see whether you can make it a goal to accept it. That is, to get to the point where you accept what you currently resist or contract around. Your ultimate goal is to get to the point where you can stay calm and open in heart and mind while you are around that particular thing, person or situation that you don't like or don't want. It is best not to start with your strongest dislikes that have the most charge. Start small and build up
It is better to start with the smaller dislikes and once you've got some momentum with opening up to these, then move towards the ones that are progressively stronger. Remember, with everything we resist or dislike, we have just learned to judge it in this way. However, there are so many other ways to look at it. Ideally, we want to be free of that judging energy so that we can be more skilful in the way we handle it.
Three Healing goals With these three new healing goals, prioritise one that becomes your current focus and as you progress on it you can be starting to work on the other two.
Every time you take a small step towards opening up to anything or anyone, you're opening up to yourself and life. You're starting to hug yourself and life. As a natural consequence, you'll experience more joy and flow in your life. Put your three goals onto your Action focus agenda.
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